General, Workplace Humor

Proper Introduction

Hello, my name is Shaun and i am 28.

You’re name is? ____(insert name here)____

Well __(inserted name)__, it is very nice to meet you.

Let me take you into my life a little.

I work day in and day out in a cage. No I’m not one of our illustrious city employed zoo keeper nor am I the hunter of all things reptilian. Unlike an animal cage my cage is three and a half walls. Three and one quarter walls are Extruded metal with a fabric face, The last quarter wall is solid frosted glass. Instead of a Bronze plaque with my Name, Latin derivative and complete history of my Kingdom, Genius, Family, Etc… I have a small paper printout velcro’d to the outside of my cube with my name and cube number, ready to be replaced at a moments notice.

Most animal’s in the zoo are better taken care of then me, at least at the zoo the keepers TRY to emulate the animals natural environment. I am in anything but. In front of me is an old PC. Now, in my job I am intended to “Think outside the box”, kind of ironic. I am supposed to come up with new ways of doing things, program computers. The PC in front of me is so old; I actually believe it was purchased at the Watergate closing sale.

At work they try to satiate our desire to go home or be outside by tossing us another t-shirt. Hey, who’d of though? That’s how you make your workers happy. Give them a branded t-shirt to wear around. As if I didn’t feel that work owned enough of me, now when I finally escape I have to be a walking billboard.

I like my job I just don’t like my job. In school they give us that aptitude test. Remember they ask if you have a million dollars what would you do for work. What a crock. If that test worked then I bet there is some fry cook at the local McDonalds kicking himself for giving the answer he did. I mean really if we all just did jobs because we loved them, who would clean our toilets? Who would be that guy that has to check the Ph levels at the sewage treatment plant?

Just think about it!!!